God bless you all!!!
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
In the post, “A Man and a Woman,” I wrote on how neither a man nor a woman is to go out into the pursuit for a mate. Instead they are both to wait on the Lord to lead. That was some time ago, and since then, God has continued to develop my understanding on the matter.
A few days ago, God took me into Genesis 2. In this chapter, the Word speaks that as Adam completed the task of naming all of the animals, he could not find a helper suitable for himself.
To look deeper into this occurrence, God said that it is not good for man to be alone, and therefore would go and make man a helper suitable for man. Now, God created all of the animals before man, so why then did man think that that helper suitable for him would be an animal? Furthermore, God used “will” as in it was something that He would do, not something that He had already done.
God gave Adam a task to perform, which was to name the animals, but Adam decided to do more than that which he was commissioned to do, and he was left disappointed. After that disappointment, God went on to do that which He said that He would do. He made a helpful suitable for Adam.
One could say that Adam looking amongst the animals for a mate is like a man or a woman looking amongst this world for a mate. Adam testing to see which animal would fit him is like when people date to see if a person is suitable for them.
Now, if this was after the fall of men, it is probable that Adam would have taken an animal to be his mate. Such an act would be an abomination before God (Leviticus 18:22). And when we look at our world, so many disappointing relationships and marriages come out of dating. So much time, emotions and heartbreaks are wasted on so many people.
The pursuit is indeed vain. The pursuit of a man after a woman, and the pursuit of a woman after a man is vain and failing. Where then is the assurance and wealth for sentimental relationships? In God. In God’s own design, plans, leading and workings.
It is good that a man of God and a woman of God should seek God and wait on God to lead them. It is good that a man should wait on God to prepare and bring to him the woman suitable for him. It is good that a woman should wait on God to prepare her and bring her to the man suitable for her. Just as God did with Adam and Eve, and also with Boaz and Ruth.
From there, God will lead the man to approach the woman and speak. He will not only speak though, the man will also love her in providing for her and protecting her in different ways as to show that he is capable for being her husband, if being the man who will shepherd her and keep her in the Lord. As a result, on her part, she will submit to him and be faithful to him. This is courtship.
Yet, what is the difference between dating and courtship? Dating is the process of trying out. When a person is dating another, that person is testing to see if there is a connection and if that person fits him or her. Courting is the process of building. When an individual is courting another, that person is getting to know that person that they know for sure has a connection with him or her and fits him or her. In Christ, that person’s knowing is true and established in that they received a true and tested revelation from God.
During courtship, the man and woman build up their relationship with one another as they get to know one another. During engagement, they continue to build up as they prepare for marriage. In marriage, they build up even more as they keep the marriage alive.
Going back to love and submission, the man’s love and the woman’s submission is to be seen and to grow from courtship to engagement and to marriage. Pause. Why does it say that the man should love? They both should love. That is true. Yet, when the Bible speaks on love, it speaks of different types. For example, when the Word says in Malachi 1:3 that God loved Jacob, but hated Esau, it was not speaking of the unconditional and everlasting John 3:16 love. It was talking of favor. God gave favor to Jacob but not to Esau.
When the Word tells husbands to love their wives, it is speaking of sacrifice. It even says that a husband should give his life for his wife as Christ gave His life for His bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). This ties back to what I have aforementioned about a man not just speaking to but also providing for and protecting the woman whom God has for him. In order for him to do that, he needs to make sacrifices.
Yet, why do I say that this love should be seen in courtship, engagement and marriage and not just in marriage? Well, when we go to the book of Ruth, a book that all young men and women should read deeply and meditate on, we see this:
God brought Ruth to Boaz by causing her to glean upon Boaz’s fields. When Boaz saw Ruth, just like when Adam first laid eyes on Eve, Boaz approached Ruth and spoke. Yet, he did not just speak, he provided for her by telling her to glean on his fields and protected her by telling her that he would forbid his male servants from touching her. He then continued to provide by telling her to drink from his waters.
He continued to speak to her and provide by calling her to come and break bread with him. He provided by telling his servants to allow her to also glean among the sheaves. He protected by also telling them to not bother her. He provided again by telling them to leave morsels of wheat behind for her to pick up.
So, then, Ruth went home to Naomi and told her about this man with whom she had favor. Naomi encouraged Ruth to glean only on Boaz’s fields until the end of harvest. This is all in chapter 2.
There is the love and then there is the submission. But what exactly is submission? If you look up the word in Merriam-Webster, you will find that it says to submit is to yield to a governance or to accept a condition. To bring life to that definition within the context of this post, to submit to one’s man is to say: “Go ahead and love on me.”
Because Boaz did all of these wonderful acts, Ruth was faithful to him and gleaned only on his fields. She accepted his ruling and conditions of a sacrificial love.
But it was not yet under the terms of being love birds. It was more like a respected leader in the community caring for the poor. Or even a boss coming to a good agreement with a worker.
At the end of harvest though, Ruth decided that maybe it could be under the terms of being love birds. Well, Naomi proposed the idea to Ruth and Ruth said yes. So, again, in chapter 3, God took Ruth to Boaz. Ruth laid at Boaz’s feet and asked him to cover her. For her to lay at his feet and to ask him to cover her is to say to him that she will devote herself to him and care for him and him only as his wife and that he should take her as his wife.
Before, they interacted innocently in the public eye, but now, they interact privately as they laid at the threshing floor. - The threshing floor is the place of being molded by God. -
Boaz, agreed and told her to lay there till morning came. Then it says that she arose before they could recognize one another. This would be the breaking of dawn, the time of deliverance. In Genesis 32:22-32, Jacob fought with the Lord’s angel until the breaking of dawn. In Psalm 30:5, it says that tears may come at night, but joy comes in the morning. Again, the threshing floor is the place of being molded by God.
The thing is that though they both knew that they were for one another, they had to go through the process of being molded by God at the threshing floor before this could get engaged. They had to be in courtship to get to know one another much more and they had more growing up to do.
Then, Boaz gives Ruth six bundles of wheat and tells her to not let it be known that the woman came to the threshing floor. Again, he provided and protected. What he gave Ruth served as a testament to his intentions. It is like when a man gives an engagement ring to a woman, asking her to marry him. That ring served as a testament to his intentions. That is why when Ruth showed the bundles of wheat to Naomi, Naomi told Ruth not to worry for Boaz would not rest till he had Ruth as his fully and completely.
So, we basically see here is courtship from verses 1-13 and then engagement from verses 14-18. Then he goes on to arrange affairs so that he could marry her.
I have said a lot and some of you all may be wondering: “Well, how do I know that she is the one whom God has for me before I go into all of that?” or “How do I know that he is the one whom God has for me before I go into all of that?”
Well, pray and receive the truth that God has for you. Yet, to know whether or not you should even be going deep into prayer for a woman or a man, look for these things. I call is my three scoops of ice and cherry on top.
But it is only a cherry on top. It does not build up that Christ centered sentimental relationship. In order to keep that courtship, engagement and marriage going, you must be brother and sister in Christ, friends and lovers.
As brother and sister, you must be able to pray, worship and read the Word together. Have ethereal moments with the Lord together. Receive and share deep revelations from up high with one another. As friends, you must be able to laugh and cry together. Share your joys and sorrows with one another. Go through life together.
As lovers, you must be able to have those gentle words of intimacy with each other. Be able to whisper things that only he or she should ever hear and know. Also, to be able to be physically intimate with one another.
In courtship and engagement, where the two of you should be interacting more publicly, that should be limited to kisses on the cheek, holding of hands and hugs. Then in marriage, there can be the deep kissing, caressing and the becoming of one flesh.
Those scoops all come in order. In Christ, sharing the Lord always comes first. In Him, being friends always comes second, In Him, being lovers always comes third. Then, there is room for that sweet cherry.
This is a long post, but I have not even yet hit everything there is to know! I myself am still learning much from the Lord. I am excited to share it all with you!
Much love and blessings,
Emery in Christ
To the weary....
In the midst of the storm, be still and know that He is God.
It really is hard to have faith at times. To remain in the joy of knowing His Word and the peace of knowing that it will be fulfilled. For, that which we see and even hear works to distort the truth that we know. What is worst is that so often that which we see and hear can be so tangible, easy to grasp, while that truth that God spoke sometimes becomes so abstract and at a distance.
Understand this: It is all a mind game. A game of processing, thought and belief. That which you see is at times moved by the enemy, and then he gets you to start processing what you see with human logic so that you may lose faith and hope. For then, you would be susceptible to all of his ruses and fiery flames (Ephesians 6:10-20). There are also times when it is God who places you in seemingly hopeless situations to strengthen your faith in Him. For, it is impossible to please Him without faith, and He rewards those with faith (Hebrews 11:6). Whichever the case may be, you have got to have that faith. For it is by your faith that you shall live. It will strengthen your bones and give you a heart of courage. Therefore, my friend, though your deliverance seems to tarry, have faith, for it will come at the appointed time, and you will rejoice (Habakkuk 2:1-4)!
And as you wait, may you grow stronger....
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah
8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah
Much love and blessings,
Emery in Christ
Happy New Year!!! Ahhhh!!!!!
I pray for a year of a multitude of rains, blessings upon blessings of the Holy Spirit!
Yet, we have to make sure that we are in the place of love and obedience unto the Lord, for it is only there that we may receive these rains. For, I speak not of the rains of providence, the rains that fall both on the just and unjust (Matthew 5:45). Instead, I speak of the rains of favor, the rains that fall on the repentant (Joel 2:12-32).
God says that if we repent, turning back to Him in love and obedience, He will show mercy and grace. He will show mercy by not giving us the due punishment that we deserve. - Not that there will be no consequence to our sins, but that it will not be the same as it would have been if we continued in rebellion. - He will show grace by giving us blessings that we never truly could have earned. Or even imagined….
These rains will be the Holy Spirit pouring down and filling up our hearts. He will witness to Christ and reveal His Word to us (John 16:13-14). This is the grain (Matthew 4:4). He will fill our hearts with love and reign over our lives with righteousness (Romans 5:5). That is the wine (John 2:1-11). From the seed of love, we will bear more love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, which are fibers that all make the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:13-26). - Not one comes apart for the Spirit of God. Not one comes without the others. -
Then, there will be an overflow of anointing. True anointing, effective anointing, for love will already be there to accentuate it (1 Corinthians 13). This is the oil (Isaiah 61; Acts 10:38).
Surrounding will be an abundance of trees filled with fruit and vines full of riches. Blessing upon blessings!
This is God's vision for us. All we have to do is receive it through love for God and obedience to His Word. Amen!
Much love and blessings,
Emery in Christ
But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
Jésus répondit: Il est écrit: L'homme ne vivra pas de pain seulement, mais de toute parole qui sort de la bouche de Dieu